Ladies and gentlemen, children of all sexes, step right up, for only ten cents, the tenth part of a dollar, ten copper-zinc pennies... welcome to the Circus of Life!
Life is not a spectator sport step right up and take your at-bats
try your hardest to get laid everything you want you got it made
Smile as your cells mutate your hair falls out and bladder weakens
for this is life and its all there is a three ring circus with no ringmaster
Ride the elephants if you can
Ride the elephants if you can
Ride the elephants if you can
Ride the elephants if you can
Ride the elephants if you can
Ride the elephants if you can
And now the world's fattest man dancing
Making me money going on a trip with me honey
lord he gives me de baby with cloven hooves and a black shiny metal head
ride the elephants if you can
I know a man who's very tall roll up and pay a 10 cent fee
and you can see him at your leisure
come see the world's fattest human
it's amazing he can even roll out of bed
with a gecko tattooed on his chest
come see the man who drinks, therefore he is;
the amazing Bill
and last but not least, the man-child Mike Clawson
the only man I know with tape on his glasses
come see a man who throws his IQ down the toilet
a man who's smarter than the rest of the world combined
but yet he chooses to do nothing with his entire life
ride the elephants if you can
pick up the shit from the elephants
ride the elephants if you can